After 15 years of marriage I realized that I am still immature and childish…. My husband feels that way and some other close acquaintances too feel that I behave in a very immature way. I never ever paid heed to it and continued playing games with my kids who love to play with me because I too become crazy like a child while playing. One day my husband returned from office only to find me playing football with them in our society’s lane. From his stern look I could make out that he did not like it and he just uttered the word , ‘ let the kids play alone, stop being childish’.
At times, I would start wondering and get depressed thinking that was I really immature and childish? Was it the reason he spoke a little with me? Did he really think that I was an immature lady? What does being mature mean then? Does it mean I have to behave in decent way as if I am in an office? Or does it mean that I cannot play with my own kids to make them happy? Or does it mean that I should not run away from my responsibility? Whatever the case may be, I was totally disappointed by this tag and I always wished my husband to be like me, enjoying life’s little pleasures and making fun out of literally anything.
One fine day I was totally frustrated and decided to test his love for me in my own childish way. Because that was the only thing I could do nicely and with perfection and my husband would agree to it 100% .
I wrote a letter to him stating that I was fed up with his attitude just as he was fed up with mine. I wrote that it hurt me that he kept thinking me childish always and I could never ever be the way he wanted me to be. I finally ended this letter with a good-bye saying that I will not return back to him again.
I knew in his mind he will be thinking that I am an irresponsible, immature person who left the kids all alone but then I really wanted to test his love for me. But as per my nature I wanted to see his reaction after reading my letter. So I kept the letter on the dining table under the paper weight and hide under the bed waiting for him to read it.
He came from the office , had a glass of water and was searching for me but he could not find me. He took out chips from the cupboard and sat in front of TV without even bothering to give me a call. Anger was on my nerves now. I wanted him to read the letter and react. I thanked God, his phone was lying on the same table on which I had kept the letter and fortunately and it rang just in time. When he came to pick it up he found my letter. He read it casually as if it was just another note…. He never took anything regarding me ‘seriously’.
I was really furious now, even after knowing that I had left his home , he did not do anything.. I was about to come out of my hiding place when I saw him dancing and whistling with joy. He seemed happy and overjoyed rather than crushed and heart-broken.
He called some one up saying , ” Hey babe! I came home from the office just now and was glad to know that my childish wife had run away from the house. Now we don’t have anyone to bother us, I’ll just change and then we will go to Hotel on a date for a candle light dinner and on a long drive after that”. But before he called up, he scribbled something on my letter. Soon , he got ready and left the home.
I was in tears now. I knew the man who called my childish did not love me and there was some other girl in his life – matured and well-behaved! May be that is why he avoided me and kept calling me childish . I was all broken but still was curious to see what he had scribbled on my letter. So I opened it with tears in my eyes and was taken aback by what he wrote…..
He had written, ” Dear Archana, I came home from office really tired and I could see your feet when you were hiding under the bed. I am going out to buy bread and butter. So my dear idiot wife, sometimes it is good to make fun out of serious things-like the way you do it always and remember that I LOVE YOU just the way you are..”
Dedicated to my loving husband Prasanna and my sister in law- Anjali.