Has it ever happened to you that you love someone from the bottom of your heart, day and night you are thinking just about that person and for you the maxim “For the world you are someone, but for someone you are the world” holds true?

But the person at the other end isn’t much involved in you? For him/her you are just another person or in my own words ‘someone’………

Well, I guess each one of us must be having one such person in life whom we love the most but that person is least bothered about it or takes it for granted.

When it comes to the feeling of ‘love’ it isn’t restricted only to humans. It extends to animals too and to go a step further we even fall in love with the non-living things around us!

Life teaches us so many things in the most unexpected ways! 

For me, it was my little puppy who gave me the important lesson of life.

As a mother, I never wanted to tame a dog because I always thought that it would be an additional liability on me to take care of it, feed it and most importantly to give my attention to it.

Also, I was always worried that my kids would be more prone to asthamatic attacks due to hair fall problems of such kinds of pets.

Anyways, I was very much against getting it at my home.

Yet, one day my elder son saw a small puppy who was trembling outside in heavy rain and hence brought him to our home.

He knew from the beginning that I was against taming it, so he always tried to keep the puppy away from me and feed him on his own.

Earlier the puppy used to come to our home only when it was hungry or needed a shelter but as time passed, it became much like our family member and started staying with us.

It could never get my love because for me it was just an unwanted dog. I just used to feed it and did nothing else for the puppy.

Slowly and gradually it grew up but the things had not changed much from my end and I had the same attitude towards the dog as earlier.

One day, I had gone to the market and while returning back I was carrying two big bags with me.

As I was walking down the street, a petty robber came and snatched away my purse. The dog whom I never loved was watching all this.

It quickly ran after the robber and was successful in getting back my purse from him.

But deep down in its heart the dog knew that I did not love him so just returned silently from the site. The one thing which dogs particularly do when they feel loved is to lick the person or wag the tail hoping that the owner might cuddle him. But he did nothing of this sort and just went away.

I was truly impressed that day but deliberately tried to keep myself away from falling in love with it.

And later many times it happened that in small-small instances I could find that the dog wanted to help me out.

The dog continued helping me in the most unexpected ways and still  never ever expected a hug from me.

Ultimately one day I cuddled the dog and fell in love with it. Later we became the best friends.

It has been seven years since the dog died, but it taught me an important lesson.

For all the while it kept loving me unconditionally even though it knew that I didn’t like him.

It won my TRUST!

YES! I fell in love with the dog only due to its devotion, unconditional attachment and trust.

Years later I used the same concept in our relationship.  I truly loved someone and wanted that person to love me back the way I always wanted… but it did not happen that way.

Anyways, I kept on messaging. I kept on caring for the other friend. I kept on praying for well being. I tried to keep in touch without expecting a reply. I kept on helping in every possible way.

Deep inside I used to crave for  attention and love which I never got but I believe that the only place where “T” comes before “L” is the dictionary of “love and life”.

Ultimately this was taught to me by the little dog whom I never loved earlier….. it couldn’t go waste!

Now, I understand how bad the dog must have felt when it was trying to win my love by his devotion and trust but was unable to get it!

But at least I am at peace because I know that I SHOULD NOT EXPECT ANYTHING IN RETURN!

 

It’s just a question of priorities,

 

If someone seriously wants to be with you,

 

They will never find excuses,

 

rather they will make efforts.

 

It takes less than a minute to let someone know that you miss them…

 

And ” IF” someone really loves you, they won’t miss a chance to express it…

 

YOUR presence never mattered to them….

 

Time is always a best healer and for me its a teacher too.  It has been precisely 24 years now, it taught me a lesson which I can never ever forget. We always teach our children to be kind to others, to be on time , to speak the truth always but when it comes to practice we often break our own rules and start making excuses.

My son , my ONLY son was in Indian Army and as a mother I always used to be worried about him. He would often call up and come to meet us whenever he got an opportunity. I remember the last time he called up was after the Kargil war. India won the war and there were celebrations in the country. He made us proud one more time but this time his call after we had won the war was a little disturbing.

He said that he wanted to visit us along with his one friend from the army who would hence forth stay with us. He said that his friend had lost his one hand and one leg in the war and was a handicap and that he didn’t have a family of his own. From childhood I had taught my son to help the needy so he expected us to accept his friend and allow him to stay with us.

We thought about it and finally decided that we can’t continue to help him for the rest of his life. Managing a few days was ok but for the whole of the balance life it was difficult and hence I called up my son saying that it was not possible to entertain his request this time.

Few months passed and my son did not visit us. I thought he was angry with us because we denied his request to let his handicap friend stay with us. But time had a different story to tell.

Few years later we received a call from Army that our son had died and they were sending his corpse soon. When his dead body arrived we were sad to see that he had just one hand and one leg. He had lost it in Kargil war and never wanted to be a burden on us. That was the reason he made up a story and wanted to know our views on whether we could support his handicap friend. His handicap friend was none other than he himself.

He taught me to be KIND to other’s ALL THE TIME.

Today I regret , only if I could have shown a little compassion, little kindness, my son could have been happy. We need to adhere to our values always —-

Because we never know what future holds for us!

It was a sunday and as usual my husband brought something to eat in the morning. He often brings typical Gujarati snacks for the breakfast or simply bread and butter. That day he brought bread and started applying butter on the slices.

He always offered the first slice of the bread which is a little rough – to me. I always kept on thinking that he offers me the roughest part of the bread -the heel and everyone else gets chance to eat the soft ones. For me, kids eating the soft bread was perfectly ok but then my husband too ate the soft part and gave me the rough one always, that hurt me the most.

I kept on thinking about it and the more deeper  I went in thoughts, the more I felt that he did not care for me. I was getting a feeling of being un-loved. That day I decided that I will talk to him regarding this. Only bread was not the issue. There were many things going on in my mind which probably I never dared to tell him fearing that I might hurt his feelings or he might not even bother to reply.

Still, one more time he brought the bread after some days and this time I had decided that I will let him know how hurt I felt when he offered me the heel part -the roughest slice of the bread. I told him that I didn’t like eating the heel and was surprised to see him happy.  He joyfully ate it and later told me that he always wanted to eat the heel part but offered it to me thinking that I loved to eat it. He always wished to tell it to me that he loved to eat it but never ever got a chance.

Believe me for 15 years I have been eating the roughest slice just thinking that he offered it to me because no one else liked it and he kept forgoing it for me thinking that I loved to eat it.

The matter was of course very small but such misunderstandings do happen in beautiful relationships.

Why is it that we take everything to our heart? Why can’t we convey our true feelings? Life is really simple, we make it complex due to our ego and over thinking isn’t it?

If you don’t like the thing which life is offering to you simply let someone know, may be God has some better options for you which you never ever imagined.

Do let me know your views on the above in the comments section.

mangne se to dua bhi kubool hoti hai,

bin mange jo de de wohi saccha dost hai!

Dedicated to my best friends sanjay and monika who offer me unconditional help whenever I need it, without me asking for the same..

Archana Prabhune..

I was roaming in my garden and I found a very tiny velvet touch red insect. Red colour attracts me the most so I slowly picked it up and kept it safely in a matchbox. I packed it with soft cotton and tried to keep tiny pieces of leaves in it to be eaten by the insect. I used to call it Velvet, because it was red and soft like a velvet.

One day after I came from school my mom noticed me taking the match box and she thought that I was igniting fire. She came to know about the insect and tried to convenience me in vain to leave it in its natural habitat. But I thought that I loved it and wanted to keep it with me.

Every morning before going to school I would check out for the tiny insect, touch it lovingly and keep some leaves inside the matchbox for it. while at school too , I kept thinking about my little Velvet. It’s thoughts revolved around me for 24 hours. When I came back from school my first job was to have a look inside the matchbox for Velvet and touch it. At night too I would keep it right besides my pillow but my mom did not like it.

She always told me not to ‘ overdo’ the things. But I never listened to her. For me either I could overdo the things or  do nothing at all. There were always two extremes in my life and I never had a balanced view.

A week later I found that Velvet was motionless. It lay dead inside the matchbox. In spite of me taking its best care, offering it best leaves to eat, it had died. For me it was a big loss which no one could understand because for everyone else it was just a small insect but for me… it occupied my mind and heart for 24 hours. I was unable to get it out of my mind even for a second. I would cry and lament and one day my mom came to console me and said;

” Was it really love? You tried to hold it so hard and took great care of it but what was the end result? You made it a prisoner and  said that you loved it. Instead of that it could have been better if you had left it in garden, at least it could have survived. If you love someone or something set it free, if it comes back to you, it is your’s. If it does not, then it never was!” I cried too much and felt that I was responsible for its death and my  love killed the insect.

Today also, I can’t leave the habit of overdoing things in spite of my best efforts. But yes… I have learnt to set the person free even though I love him/her too much. It keeps pinching my soul and I just keep waiting for a person to return to me. But I have learnt to keep everything in my heart.

“shokh nahi hai mujze sare aam apne jasbado ko likhne ka,

Magar aur koi jariya bhi to nahi tuz se baat karne ka…..”

Archana Prabhune..

I was totally disappointed with the way the things were moving in life. Every time I found that no one really bothered for my feelings and no one loved me the way I wanted. All the time I kept feeling was that I was supposed to do so many things for everyone without even bothering whether they feel the same for me or not. Tired with my own thoughts I decided to go to a park and sit idle doing nothing at all. I sat under an old willow tree which had shed many leaves. I was so much disappointed with the life that all I could see was only the ‘ negative’ part of the things. I felt myself too was just like that tree, standing in hot sun of emotions just giving shadow of love and care and other things to others. I was sitting on a bench doing nothing at all just watching some kids play in the park but my mind was constantly lamenting. I was feeling lonely, sad and broken deep down inside. I was simply unable to enjoy the beauty of nature nearby and share the joy of the kids playing there. Still somehow I decided to be seated for a while.

I was down in my own thoughts and if that weren’t enough to ruin my day , a young boy out of the breath approached me. He stood right before me with his head tilted down and with a great excitement he said, ” look what I found !”

I saw all he was holding was a small flower in his hand which was perhaps the ugliest flower in the park with all worn out petals and it was just a lifeless flower. Just to please the boy, I faked the smile and shifted away but instead of retreating he sat next to my side and kept talking. I wasn’t much interested in it. He took the flower in his hands and gently smelling it overreacted that it smelt like a perfume and that’s why he gifted it to me. I did not even bother to look at the boy.

The weed before me was dying or dead. It did not have any vibrant colours nor a great smell but still I took it from the boy just not to disappoint him.  He held it in the mid-air for me to reach it and when I was about to grab the flower in my hands I noticed a terrible thing which moved my heart and had me in tears. The boy was BLIND.

I heard my own voice quiver, tears shone like the sun, as I thanked him for picking the very best one. ” You are welcome” he smiled and then he ran off to play unaware of the impact he had on my day.

I sat there and wondered how he managed to see, A self-pitying women beneath an old willow tree. How did he know about my self indulged plight? Perhaps from his heart he had been blessed with a true sight which the other people from whom I expected much could never ever see.

Through the eyes of a blind child at last I could see that the problem was not with the world, the problem was with me. I expected a lot from everyone and that disturbed me. For the first time after so many days I was feeling positive and for all those times I myself had been blind, I vowed to see the  beauty in life and appreciate every second that’s mine.

And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose and breathed  in the fragrance of the beautiful rose. And I smiled as I watched that young boy with another weed in his hand  about to change life of an unsuspecting old man.

Archana Prabhune..